Another 3 years down and not Forgotten

So I really like the number three, I know its prime, great things happen in threes, including sneezes which I love, and it’s a Holy Number. It seems as though every three years my itch to write returns and I need to catch people up. So here it goes…

Radius church is now behind me, though there are days I hope for reconciliation with people, I will just let time take its course with that. It took almost a year and half and some counseling to feel comfortable in a church again, I have now been at a church and a member of that church for about 2 years now. I consider it home and it has this great un-perfect community that I love. The REV there and I click and are able to hang out and not feel like I am with the REV.

They last time I wrote a post like this I was 5 moths into a new recruitment firm where I ended up staying for three years, these years were great at sometimes and painful at others. During this time though I established myself as a recruiter and a networker, finding my strengths and putting them to work. I left that firm and returned to college recruitment in hopes that I could keep growing my network and get some space to continue to find out what I want to do with my life. Not quite panning out the way that I wanted to, but I am learning and have for years tried to learn I can’t plan out life. In this moment I am still growing my network in hope to connect more people to their dreams and wants, and I actually got to speak on Blog radio about this, and have been on 2 panel groups sharing my networking and recruiting process. I have found that I love work just don’t know what job I will always want, which I want to make a goal, but afraid I wont find it.

Significant things in the last three years have been abundant. I am now 30 and have some gray hair, I have not decided if its distinguished or just old. I have fallen in real love of my immediate and extended family, and thank Facebook and a wedding for brining us all back together. I am still single and though I don’t want to be I am ok with it, but will still keep looking. (See post below). The Trinity and my spirituality are constantly taking on new meaning in my life. I still fight Them for my own control and they continually stick around, Thanks Gang! Landmark Education has helped to change my life and perspective on my world getting out of the past, and realize what I have created. It has helped me renew, heal, and forgive the relationships in my life, especially the Trinity, whom I like to blame for everything that goes wrong. If you have heard of Landmark or not, you should take the opportunity to go. I know there is a lot out there both positive and negative, but I see how it works if you are open to it. JUST DO IT!

As I sit here there are so many things I could write about, but this gives some good perspective on the last three years. I have learned just be open to what comes. Take care of those in your life even when it is hard, as the return might surprise you. Be completely in your emotions, as it is being TRUE to who you are. I right now am frustrated with the economy, want to be seen for what I bring to the table vs. what is on my resume, I love my friends and the times we spend, and Please forgive my judging heart and the stories I create about you all from my past experience.

-J

LOOKING FOR APPLICANTS! Turning 30 and JUST CHECKING..

Dear Friends, Family, Future Lovers,

Recently I took part in an amazing endeavor in turning 30! Some said I would never make it (Thanks MOM!), I thought about ending life, as I hate gray hair and my knees and shoulders hurt, and some (Those I am targeting with this BLOG) told me if I made it to thirty and was still single that we should get married or I wished you would say it!

Well LADIES I am now 30 and still single so I thought I would see who is out there and available, kind of a “The Bachelor” style blog, maybe catfight for my heart kind of thing. (Yes Sara Worley I do love the bachelor and I am saying it loud and saying it proud thanks for watching it with me all these years). See you all said it, or I said it and you agreed, and if we did not have this conversation you can still get in on all the fun. Kind of calling people to the table thing, and seeing who is up to the challenge

Here is a little about me: I live in Denver, CO and don’t know if I am ready to leave. I am 5’9’’, fairly athletic build, and I lost about 20lbs this last year. I have built a fairly successful career in recruiting and networking, and am constantly reinventing myself. I live alone in a great two-bedroom apartment that is decorated, and does not resemble a dorm room. I am thinking a house in the next year sounds good. I do want a family, but it does not have to start from date one, I like to be out on the town and not tied down.

Good facts for you to know, I love to cook and I cook well, I also like eating out nice places, but have a few towny bars I hang out at, I do go to church and it is part of my life, and probably not going to change, my friends are my life and I want to date someone that is both a significant other and a friend, I want to both go out and hang at be home together, I am looking for someone that is not trying to fix me. Someone that sees fun as an adventure and sees where it can go is great. I am not in college so boozing it up and out late need not apply. If I am just not into you dating wise it does not mean I don’t like you, I just am picky and am not going to settle when it comes to who I date.

So there you have it. If you want in on the action send me an email, reply to this blog, hit me up in the social media realm, if you have my number give me a call. Tell me about you and what you want, and include a picture. Must answer this question at a minimum: If we were on “The Bachelor” why would I give you the Final Rose? If roles were reversed you would give me a rose because I was genuine and I always looked you in the eyes first.

Love ya,

-Jared

Back Again

Currently I am sitting in a Starbucks in Winter Park just writing, thinking and watching people. I am going to try and kick out a few blogs today to get caught up. I have request for my now past 30th birthday, I have to write a new three years down and not forgotten, and we will see from there.

The Quick update: I turned 30 and yes I have some gray hair, I have been attending church and no the Trinity did not leave the building, I am still in sales, I have grown up a lot, I have almost 1700 friends on Facebook, I spoke on a radio blog ( http://tinyurl.com/SpencerConnect-Introducers2 ) , I still react to teasing, and tease in return, I have reconnected and spent time with my amazing family and really believe they are amazing, and I am living the sophisticated bachelor lifestyle or at least I think I am. I miss everyone theses days and I tear up (even now) thinking about them, life, and the future.


Please reconnect as I would love to hear where you are at.


-J

What's in a Miracle

So as you can tell for years I have been thinking about things I should write about and not writing. So while I am still thinking about it I thought that I might write about AMAZING things I hear about or see in the world. Call it GOD, Call it Nature, Call it Medicine, or Call it Technology I will leave that up to you.

This is a story about an Autistic child named Eli, his Mom Sonja, and my friend Lori. Lori is involved with a company (http://marketamerica.twi.bz/a) that provides natural supplements, which have seen amazing results.

Lori met Sonja and Eli through her husband who heard Eli's story and thought Lori might have some product to help. Here was the initial email exchange:

"The problems Eli has mainly are his speech, he does speak enough to have his needs met but there are a lot of things he is unable to say or understand. the speech he does have is kind of garbled so you might not know what he is saying if you don't know him. He has a few sensory issues, but not to the point that i am extremely concerned with them. he used to cover his ears a lot, but now only a little bit at night when he is going to bed. he is a very picky eater. he lives mainly on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, pizza, burritos, grapes. you never can tell. he will eat veggies if its on the pizza or in the burrito but would never touch something like corn or green beans. he does not drink milk, so he drinks juice and water. he does take a multivitamin gummy. he is not potty trained. at school he will go pee with his aid but has a hard time sitting on the potty at home. he does do a bit of hitting when i am around. no hitting at school or when he is with grandpa. at school they used a no hit card which worked but the cards don't work at home. he doesn't have any bowel issues. if there is anything i didn't touch on and you are curious please do not hesitate to ask, but i think Ive covered it"

Eli started OPC-3, Multi-Vitamin and Digestive Enzymes on September 1st, this is a product that has been researched and formulated for Autism. Following are a list of notes over the next month

Here is the first good text Lori got from Sonja on September 10th-

Doing good drinking it very well. I'm sure we'll see results he might be talking a bit more but I don't want to jump the gun.

Friday night September 18th Sonja called with the note from school which I will get from her saying how the teachers are pleased with him talking more etc.

Eli had another good day. it is great to see his smiling face and playing with the kids. He is using more words at school everyday! He went back for seconds on pizza and ate in the lunchroom. have a great weekend.

This week Lori emailed me: little autistic child's mom just called me and read me a note from the teachers at school. It read, Eli had another good day, it is nice to see him smiling and he is talking more and more!

This is an amazing story of a lot of things for me. Love, of a parent for a child and wanting to see him experience life free from the condition. Belief, a friend who wants to help and believes in a product that can help. Trust, of a child that can do nothing but. Me, who is just in a place of openness to want to see miracles in a modern world. I opened with attribute this to what you want, because to me it does not make a difference, as it is lives changing for the best. This child's life is being changed.

If you would like to know more about the product network with Lori http://marketamerica.twi.bz/b . She is a person that believes in miracles, science, helping people, networking, but most of all in bettering the world.

Lori thanks for helping me write something down.

******** UPDATE**************
October 6th ELI Wrote his name for the very first time!!!!

Just A Thought (Recipe attached)

Well it has been a long while since I wrote and I have been thinking about this specific thing a lot lately. I am guilty of it, I hear it from those I care about, I hear from people I work with, I hear it in the shows I watch, and I overhear it with the people walking on the streets. Negative, Hopeless, Inconvenience, and just straight complaining. From the smallest change in an office to the some of the biggest things one can face. Is that all that life is or is it really better and its just easier to dwell on negative. I always seem to come to this thought after or maybe when things are not so bad.

“If life throws you lemons make lemonade!!”

I really like this adage and no I don’t or choose not to follow it a lot of the time. But why? Why can’t we make the most of what life throws instead of making everything an inconvenience or reason to complain. Could the world be a better place if we all tried this? I mean cold lemonade is refreshing, relaxing, and for most puts a smile on your face. Unless of course you allergic to lemons, and then I really don’t know what life throws at you. Bricks, Avocados, Prime Rib? I guess then build a wall, make guacamole, or have a cookout!!!!

Just thinking out loud, feel free to comment. Also here is a recipe for anyone that wants to give it a try.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Fresh-Lemonade/Detail.aspx

Three Years Neglected But Not Forgotton

I know I do not write much and some days I wish I did because I let it build up for so long and now it will just come out. It will now come out in words that have been written in tears, in smiles, with grit teeth, deep breaths, and even steaming ears I will take you back three years to a point just prior to picking up my life and moving here to Colorado, and the journey, adventure, nightmare that brought me today. It was not a hard decision to come here, I mean with things like snowboarding, hiking , camping, and mountains all would have been enough. Then you add distance from the Midwest and some space from family (just being out of the same house), even this would have been good. Then you throw in a desire to be a part of a community that really wanted to love people, a community focused on the trinity, a church not centered around a building, denomination, or rigid structure with the opportunity to do it, and you rent a moving truck and leave. Though not everyone was behind this community, some thought it was a cult, some just wanted me stay, it was not for others, and the rest just could not quite put there finger on it. All in all I still came and three years later, do not regret this move, or the life I have today, life that is both really happy and really sad at the same time almost all the time. This is an account from my perspective and feelings and all that I have to give. This will not recount every moment, just a flow of my life over the last three years.

It all started as to be expected, 12 or so moved out here in what we called was the First Wave. We settled in, the weather was great, I picked up a coffee house gig to pay the bills, as I had done in the past. The "storyteller" as I will call him and I lived in what would be known as the Radius house the central place for all things community, everything went on there. The rent was cheap, the house turned out to be cheaper, and the landlord turned out to be comatose and non existent (A little too much drugs from the seventies!). That first year the storyteller led everything and began lay the bricks for this community, he counseled everyone, led the Small groups, taught us in an eloquent open forum manner that I had become accustomed to over the previous year. The last year and during this year I had never seen God more clear and had really begun to get in touch with myself, my past, present and future. It was all a honeymoon for awhile, everyone seemed to get a long, at the endless trips to the park, the BBQ's, and the smiles. We spent a lot time learning about each other, the values of why we had all come, and a lot of reflection on self. We had come out here from transformation, but also to grow a community that was about transformation, but there was no one new to be found, and more and more I felt a lone. I tried t bring it to peoples attention, but was told it was what I was choosing to be, that kept people from me, or that the people i wanted to be close to were just too hard to get to know. I was giving guidance on how to change, how to grow closer to God and how that would change my reality, but instead of getting better it only got worse. By Christmas i was asked to be out of my own home because someone did not want to be responsible for me and my loneliness and needed space for his family, one that I was not considered part. At that time i thought it was acceptable but as I look back I realize how much pain it caused and how thoughtless it was. During this year I also grew wild, and tested the waters or experience and freedom that things that I had not before. I made poor choices that drove me to my knees and begged God to change me, make me likeable, just let one person be a real friend to me. He was there but others continued to disappear, it was too hard to call those at home, and those hear seemed to treat me like i was plagued, and all I could believe was that it was my fault, I was driving them all away. That is what storyteller told me at least time and time again, and that God was trying to get me to my place of deepest fear, being alone!!! So I trusted and believed that this is what i needed. I as now well into my second job and still very unhappy. During the remainder of that year the storyteller just picked up moved into his own place, no one used the house for community anymore, a few more people joined, and two that i had come to love picked up and left. I was alone, confused, scared, and yet still seemed to trust that I was in the right place. That this community was the answer even though no one seemed to accept me outside of assigned time. People continued to say they cared, but acted completely different. I just pressed on and trusted God was in it and the storyteller who was speaking into my life. I was learning more about me through reflection and listening to a few i trusted so I believed something would change. So again I quit my job for another and moved in with 2 new members of the community.

Year two begins with some good things in the closest three people in my life moving here, and some scary things in both my roommates saying they wanted to leave the same night they got here. Boy were they right!!! Year two was much like the first, in that we grew from people not from CO that we had previous relations with, we continued to abandon things that would cause growth in the community becoming almost closed off to outsiders, more people began questioning whether or not this place was doing anything remotely involving community, and the storyteller kept telling his stories both to the group and to individuals. Stories that had beautiful meanings of hope and the trinity's love. More leadership was brought in and a circle was supposedly developed, but truth be told when the majority is controlled by one no mater what the minority will not be heard, and one retains control. Yet people seemed to grow more lonely and isolated. Yes there were good moments here and there, but today I think there were just things to hold to. People from the outside were still skeptical and more inside began to grow weary. I moved in with a Friend about half way through the year to get a change a pace and save a buck, also allowed me to put the community some distance between myself and the community where i felt like a fly on the wall, and was only present to things I had committed too. As the year progressed things began to unravel and eventually came to a pause. "Too much pain", "We need to reevaluate", " We are going to take a break" were things said by a few and the decision was made without every voice in the room. A few Weeks later meetings were had still controlled by a few, and others hopelessly tried to help, but decisions were final before anyone even showed up. In a moment it was all done. At first it was like a glass tossed to the floor and shards of people went everywhere. The last words heard from the other was "Your friends are causing the pain" if that person only realized those friends were in so much pain themselves.

Year three is a much different story at points more sad than being manipulated for two years, and exciting because I realize the people that really care and matter to me. Over time a remnant of those from before came together once again and began the healing process that still goes on today. I started yet a fourth and a fifth job since moving here and moved a to my forth place. I believe and trust God more than I did before leaving Chicago, but I also fight him more as well, not to mention express my frustrations with the way things have gone. Year three brings sadness of those I love just disappearing without word or notice, immaturity of grown adults that cannot communicate period, having my core character questioned by one I cared about and more. It also brings about the happiness of new beginnings, family dinners, more snowboarding, a lot of backpacking and camping, and some great memories. (don't ever forget the robe). I have not found a ministry to be a part of but I am looking, I have learned a ton about me and how I function and what i need, and I look forward to the next day. Oh yeah lets not forget snowstorms that made me cry, two great trips home to Chicago, and actually living alone.

Today as I look back I write this series of run ons, misspellings, just straight thought because that is who I am constantly going and changing, and yes still have not shut up. I do spend more time in quiet than I ever have, and find that I can enjoy it and not fear it. Yes, I still believe in the reason I came out here TO LOVE OTHERS AS I HAVE BEEN LOVED BY THE TRINITY and continue to grow and learn on this path. The ministry that I came to be apart of for lack of a better word is and was a CULT (Mr Tofilon you hot the nail on the head), led by a Narcissistic leader(The Storyteller) who manipulated mine and many others' thinking for far too long, and it makes me sad to see all the chaos it has caused and the relationships that it hurt. I am sorry for those that I may even have caused pain to through this. I am grateful for everyone of you that considers me a real friend, and has shown me friendship in the past, because i realized first hand what is was like to be without them for awhile, wondering if i would ever have a friend again. I do not regret my decision to move here, because this place is good for my overall development, growth, and soul care. I need the mountains and the activities they offer as they draw ME closer to God. I have a career now that i want to dedicate myself to, and could see myself being in for a long time. I believe in a big God with a big heart more than I ever have, even when its hard. the past three years my heart and soul have been damaged, and I have cried, been angry and yelled, and even laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. I have smiled, played, loved, and experience adventure too. I have areas where i am jaded, some where I am still niaeve, and many more where I just take it as it comes. I am less stressed about things especially the future, but I still get bummed out and overly excited for things too. There is so much here and I am excited for the continued adventure. To close I have some things to say to people from the last three years and I hope some people will read and think about, some of these things are from my pain, some from confusion, some from sadness, and some from love. This story is long and drawn out

To:
God-Thank you for continually being here and pushing even when it was not so clear or me so trusting.
Mom/Dad-Thanks for continued support and for letting me have wings.
Jenny(the sister)- I am sorry we are not closer and on a continued path together.
Sara- thanks for being the one true and real constant in my life, for loving me, adopting me, being my family here, giving me time with Hayden who is my guiding light most days and a reason to smile. I want this friendship for eternity.....
Dave- for being a brother, asking good questions, guiding me me always, getting my finances in order, and like Sara a constant in my life.
Kegs-for being the twin I lost so young, making me laugh, butting heads and always coming back to love, for never holding back the tears because you trust me. You are so loved.
ConsultNet-for being a place I can call home, an making me part of a working team like I have never experienced, I hope it lasts forever.
Jimmy- for opening your home to me for a year and continually building into my business knowledge and approach to work.
Eric- I so miss our talks and times together, I am so excited to see where your adventure goes
Sheps- I miss you guys everyday, I am confused as to why I cannot get at least a note explaining your choices. I am disappointed in how things have gone, and I still love regardless. Hope to hear word soon.....
Jen P- I know things were hard and I still love you and miss our times together
Sharon- I hope things are good, I know I will hear from you
Maria D- I desire to know you better and i wish we could do more than talk about being friends, and it hurts to be in a room with you and have to feel distant.
Bry, Jen, Keith, Jeff, Chris, Erin, (many others over time)- I miss you guys so much and having such great friends around at a moments notice. them memories we shared will last me forever.
Preston, Rett, Matt- Thank you for including me into your world. I look forward to the memories down the road.
Maria G- I guess every Friday morning did not mean as much to you as it did to me.
Mark-I wanted to be friends with you more than you will ever know
Rhea-All you had to do was fight
Beth- Thanks for mountain club and backpacking school I hope to see you in the hills again.
Luke, Sherelee, Jim- I am sorry we were not closer before all the shit hit the fan.
Wendy- you asked me if I wanted God or Friends more--- I believe I can have both and do have both, I just wanted real friends when you asked and not the so called friends I was doing life with
Russell/Sammi- I am glad that life is going well and its nice to see you smile. Thanks for always listening
Angie H- I love you for sharing life and your home with me, I so badly wish it could have ended better. I am sorry for any pain I caused
Nick- Oh Nick. I trusted you with my life and soul care and you took advantage of that trust, you manipulated me, pretended to care, and most of all abused me emotionally and relationally. You hurt people I love very badly ! And then you sat back like everything was ok and someone elses fault. You are to blame for what happened and I wish I would have stood up to you stronger and sooner I cannot get those 2 years back. I hope you can find your way again.
Vivian- What happened?
The Rest of Radius- Well you said a whole two words to me when you had the opportunity, so I don't really have much.

These are the things that need to be said now! There are many people from the three years not up there and like I said if I wrote it all (which I might) it would take more than a night an blog posting needs to be. if you want more of the story or have question please ask, I would be happy to tell you. Love and Pain for me seem to be two sides of the same coin, and all of it needed to have the total of experience that I have had.
Thanks for reading......
-J

Pre-Christmas in Keystone

First of all I will give you the accommodations:
Two Nights One and a half Days in Dillon with a beautiful mountain view, just 3 miles from Keystone, and three meals for 77 dollars. Add in two days of snowboarding and 8 great people you could not ask for a better gift for Christmas gift.

And that is just what it was, a beautiful relaxing break before what would turn into a crazy couple weeks going into the new year. (YES I am writing this quite a bit late, but I was out my beautiful Mac Book Pro.)

It was a time for me to sit and reflect on the things that went on over the last year, while free riding the empty slopes.


It was a time for me to share with my friends the slopes, a great house, and smiles!!!!


Thank you friends for being there, staying here, and pushing through hell on earth.
I love you guys!!!

The Big Freeze: Winter Camping

For those of you who dont know I have been in a backpacking class for the last six months. This past weekend I was required to pack up the gear and head to the coldest area in Colorado for one final trip, a winter camping weekend that involved staying in my tent, building snow huts, some roping skills, and avalanche first aid scenarios. All in all the weekend went well, we had 5 degree cold at night, no wind, and a great group to work with. I returned with 10 fingers, 10 toes, both ears and the tip of my nose. Sunday morning was a little hard as about 5 am my toes began to hurt, and towards 8 were still in pain. Having good leaders in my group they got my toes warmed up and I was off to the races. Going to bed at 8pm on Saturday was interesting though I woke up less than 4 hrs later even with some meds to help me doze..... To answer all your questions:

Yes I would do it again, hoping I can figure out my circulation issue.

No you probably would not like, but if you go prepared it can be very comforatable, even got in a few snow huts that felt nicer than my tent.

Yes it was cold, but a lot of fun can be had.

No I did not die.......

Enjoy the Pics.